01/31/05 (02:00 PM) -- Busy  [Music: "Alive" by Pearl Jam  I  Mood: Busy]

Happy Birthday Stephanie Tarske!

I have tons to do today, and tons of e-mails to write back to.  Those might have to wait a few days though.  Anyway, today is very busy so I'll write and update tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/30/05 (11:50 PM) -- Back  [Music: "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney  I  Mood: Tired]

I'm back, but I'll write tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/29/05 (12:00 AM) -- Gone  [Music: "Gone" by *NSYNC  I  Mood: Mellow]

Gone.

01/28/05 (12:00 AM) -- Gone  [Music: "Gone" by *NSYNC  I  Mood: Mellow]

Gone.

01/27/05 (12:00 AM) -- Gone  [Music: "Gone" by *NSYNC  I  Mood: Mellow]

Happy Birthday Manual Amparan!

01/26/05 (12:00 AM) -- Gone  [Music: "Gone" by *NSYNC  I  Mood: Mellow]

Happy Birthday DeLana (Ethridge) Mullins!

01/25/05 (12:00 AM) -- Gone  [Music: "Gone" by *NSYNC  I  Mood: Mellow]

Happy Birthday Aakash Gajjar!

01/24/05 (12:15 AM) -- Au Revoir!  [Music: "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson  I  Mood: Rested]

Go Patriots!  They kicked ass today!  Okay, I am out y'all!  Je vous parlerai plus tard.  Au revoir!  -- Michael

01/23/05 (05:30 PM) -- Go Patriots!  [Music: "Yeah!" by Usher  I  Mood: Pissed]

Dude, I HATE the freakin' eagles!!!  Damn them!  I wanted Michael Vick to torch 'em.  My advice to the Eagles organization: screen who you will let speak on the mic live on camera!  Philly, Brian Dawkins isn't exactly a Rhodes scholar!  Rocky Balboa was more understandable on a microphone ("Yo Adrian!")!  He makes the people of Philadelphia look like ... well ... people from Philadelphia!  Oh well ... one more game to go.  GO PATRIOTS!!!!!  Tom Brady ... kick their ass baby!  -- Michael

01/22/05 (10:00 PM) -- Undergrad Pictures  [Music: "Alive" by Pearl Jam  I  Mood: Tired]

For the most part, I finished the Undergrad section of the pictures from what I had.  It's a little thin, so send me some if y'all have any.  Next section will be from the rest of the year 2000.  I am pretty busy right now, so I'll talk to y'all tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/21/05 (08:30 AM) -- Be Patient  [Music: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson  I  Mood: Rushed]

Mornin' y'all.  Hope everyone is havin' a good day.  I am so ready for this weekend.  Nothing special is happening.  I am just ready to relax for a bit and catch my breath.  Odds are that probably isn't going to happen for long though.  I'll probably spend a good portion of my free time working on the next round of pictures.  Speaking of which, again, it's great to hear from so many people who have been writing in regarding the ones that are currently posted.  It's good to hear from y'all and to hear about all the memories they are bringing back.  A bunch of people have said that they want to send me pictures to post in the sections.  I've said all along that's totally fine by me.  The more the merrier.  I want to albums to be a representation of all the people listed on this site.  So yeah, send any you like and I'll do my best to put them on.

As much as I appreciate all the great responses though, I'd just like it to be known that this crap does take time ... a lot of time in fact ... time I usually don't have.  It's a rather tedious process of finding pictures, selecting which ones are website worthy, scanning them, formatting them, actually choosing which ones will in fact get on the site, and then creating the pages for them to reside in.  It's really cool that everyone likes the pictures, and want to see more.  Just please be patient.  I am doing the best that I can.  I hope to have the next round of pictures, Undergrad, up hopefully by next week sometime.  I really need help with this section though.  I have like NO pictures from undergrad that are website worthy.  I hardly have any at all for that matter.  I guess there are a number of reasons for that.  Nonetheless, y'all send me some pictures from y'alls college years.  Any pictures from 1996-2000 timeframe would be great.  Any pictures from any friends are welcomed.  That way that section can hopefully be as plentiful as the high school section.  Jase, Gabe, Hunter, Larry, Alison, Karen, etc. ... send me some!

Okay, gotta end this one here.  I do have stuff to write, but it will have to wait 'til another day, maybe tomorrow.  Anyway, I'll talk to y'all then.  Bye!  -- Michael

01/20/05 (07:30 AM) -- Work in progress  [Music: "Rock Your Body" by Justin Timberlake  I  Mood: Hungry]

Wow, thanks to all the peeps that wrote in regarding the website.  I got tons and tons of great responses.  I'll try to have more pictures up on the site soon.  It all depends on how much time I can devote to it.  Speakin' of time, I am out of it right now, so I'll write more later.  Senior year pictures were updated today.  Keep writin' in, keep sendin' the pictures, and I'll talk to y'all later.  -- Michael

01/19/05 (03:30 AM) -- Photo Album  [Music: "Megalomaniac" by Incubus  I  Mood: Accomplished]

Okay, so FOR THE LAST TIME ... here is the complete and total low-down on the infamous Photo Album.  Pay attention now y'all, because I will not write about this again.  This post will explain all the questions that are consistently asked.  Stay with me, because I'm going to explain in detail.  That being said, away we go...

So what happened was my web servers went down in August.  Basically, for one reason or another, the boxes got infected.  The entire site went down.  At the time, I just happened to be working on Version 2.0 of the website, the same version that you are viewing right now.  Some of y'all might remember the site before, which was Version 1.0.  Anyway, I tried for a few minutes to get the site back online, but the server was crapped out.  So I had to buy another web server.  And since it all happened while I was working on the next version, I just decided to put extra time into finishing 2.0 and bringing the site back as that.  The site stayed down for about two weeks while I coded the finishing touches.  In that time, I was also trying to fix the old server, so I could get the old information off of it.  I house my information into two main sections:  one for all content, and the other for all pictures.  By doing so, it helps the loading speed of the website.  I was able to fix the information section very quick, so when I unveiled 2.0 in early September, all the old information  was back on the site, just in the new version, and also being referenced on the new web server.  The other section though, the section that housed the photos, that partition was still jacked up and I couldn't fix it.

All that takes me to the Photo Album.  Since that portion of the web server was still fucked, I couldn't post the pictures on the new site, because I couldn't even access the pictures.  I was faced with the realization that if I wanted to get a Photo Album back up on the site, I was going to have to do one of two things, make the impossible possible by fixing the old box ... or just redoing the damn thing all together.  While I continued throughout, trying to fix the old box, I finally decided that it was better to just create the damn thing all over again.  It wasn't so much of a problem, as it was just VERY time consuming.  Most of the pictures, especially the older ones, are actual pictures ... 35 mm pictures that were developed from a regular camera.  I had to go back and rescan every last one of those bitches so I could get them back on the computer.  And the digital pictures on the old server, those were going to be fucked because unless I fix the box, there was going to be no way of getting them back since there was no hard copy of them, as is the case with actual pictures.

So for the last few months, I have been coding and scanning away during my free time.  I also decided that if I was going to put the Photo Album back up, I wanted to make it as quintessential as possible.  I didn't just want it to be recent.  Some of my best pictures are from way back when.  So when I started scanning, I started with the earliest of earlies.  I started with the Windsor Park days, and went forward from there.  Granted, I don't have many pictures from those times, but the few that I do have are good ones, especially looking back on them now when some of us from those days are still good friends to this day.

My goal was to complete the whole damn thing, and then load it all up at once.  I tried to have it done by the end of the year.  However, it proved to be too monumental of a task.  I realized that there was NO WAY I was going to be able to do that.  This past weekend, I spent a lot of time, time I really couldn't afford, working on the Photo Album.  Sunday night I realized that I am still MONTHS away from putting a completed Photo Album back up on the site.  And even though I originally didn't want to do this, I finally just threw my hands up and decided that I would post the Photo Album up in sections as they become complete.  I thought that would be better that trying to get it all up together, still months down the road.  That way, at the very least, I would have something up now, and then add each section upon their individual completion.

So that's where I am now.  I am FINALLY going to add the first phase of the new Photo Album to the site.  This first phase includes pictures from Elementary, Middle School, and High School.  Those pages are added and ready to view now.  The next phase to be added, once completed, will be from Undergrad, and then each phase after that will be broken down into years (i.e. -- 2000, 2001, 2002, etc.).  For the most part, people's continued formal sequential education together ends at undergraduate graduation.  So I figured that is where I would pick up the sections by yearly breakdowns.  When completed, the Photo Album will be as up-to-date as possible, including the most recent pictures from this new year.  Work on the old server is still continuing to be done in order to restore those digital pictures referenced above.  Hopefully, when all is said and done, everything will be completely restored 100%.  Until then, though, y'all now have something to look at, notably from years '84 - '96.  Still to come is Undergrad (96/97 - 99/00), and then the years '00, '01, '02, '03, '04, & '05.

With regard to what pictures will be included in the Photo Album, the following applies (which can be found in the Photo Album Guidelines) ...  

"The Photo Album is intended to showcase good times had with friends ... nothing more, nothing less.  It serves as a celebration of great friendships, most of which have stood the test of time.  In fact, that is the overall theme for this website.  I care not to have the site focused on me ... past, present, or future.  It has grown way beyond that.  Rather, I want it to focus on the good people around me; the good people I am proud to call friends.  The best way to depict that is through snapshots of fun times we share together.  That being said, the Photo Album will ONLY contain pictures of those whom I consider friends.  In other words, if you and I know each other and yet we are not friends for one reason or another, you will not make it onto the site.  Further, the Photo Album will NOT serve as a window into my private life, nor will it speak to any "labels" (i.e. -- athletic, educational, professional, etc) that I or any of my friends may be known by.  Y'all get a taste of my life in the About Me and Latest News sections.  They more than suffice as windows into my world.  Every other section, Photo Album included, is catered to the ideals and themes mentioned above.  So for future reference, if you ever find yourself wondering why you don't see certain things or certain people on the site, the reason(s) for such decisions have just been described in the words directly above this last sentence."

...That should pretty much cover everything.  That's what happened.  That's what I have been working on.  That's what is currently uploaded and viewable.  That's what y'all can expect in the future.  And that's why it is what it is.  If you still have any questions beyond all that I just wrote, y'all must have not paid close enough attention to my words.  All that being said, check out the pictures, relive the memories, and as always, keep sending me pictures to add to the collection!  I hope y'all enjoy them!  -- Michael

01/18/05 (01:00 PM) -- I was going to...  [Music: "In Da Club" by 50 Cent  I  Mood: Hungry]

I was going to write last night, but sleep was callin' so I didn't fight,
I was going to write early today, but eatin' my breakfast got in the way,
I was going to write right now, but now it's lunch and I'm hungry as a cow,
I was going to write a few, but I'm sure there'll be other things still to do,

So I guess, for my words, y'all will wait 'til tomorrow,
I know ... I know, until then it will be such sorrow,
Have no fear, though, the next day will be soon to come,
And there I will be, front of the computer to give y'all some.

-- Michael

01/17/05 (03:30 AM) -- Holiday  [Music: "Basket Case" by Green Day  I  Mood: Sleepy]

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

01/16/05 (05:30 AM) -- Coming Attractions  [Music: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers  I  Mood: Tired]

Happy Birthday Amy (Foster) Allen!

It's too early to write right now.  I will say this, though. I have been working on some things for site.  I'll explain in a few days, so stay tuned for some coming attractions.  -- Michael

01/15/05 (02:15 PM) -- Drawing Blanks  [Music: "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers  I  Mood: Hungry]

(At first, I was going to title this post as "Shooting Blanks", but then I thought it might give off the wrong impression, haha.)  It's funny because a lot of times throughout a given day things happen or I think of things and I always intend to write about them at the next opportunity.  However, when I sit down at the computer to actually write, I end up drawing a blank.  For some reason I forget what I was going to write, or it doesn't quite make sense anymore.  Go figure!  Not sure why that happens.  I guess it wasn't important enough since I fail to write about it.  Isn't that what our parents used to tell us?  "Hey Momma." ... "Yes Michael?" ... "Umm, uhh, shoot, I forgot what I was going to say." ... "Well, it must have not been that important if you forgot it".  Yeah, y'all get the point.  -- Michael

01/14/05 (06:45 AM) -- Still Busy  [Music: "Rock Show" by Blink 182  I  Mood: Busy]

Happy Birthday Andres Fernandez!

01/13/05 (01:30 PM) -- Busy  [Music: "One" by Metallica"  I  Mood: Busy]

Happy Birthday Gabe Martinez!

01/12/05 (03:00 AM) -- Carrie Bradshaw?  [Music: "If You're Gone" by matchbox twenty  I  Mood: Calm]

Happy Birthday Clinton Kennedy!

Yesterday I met with a friend and we hung out for a bit, caught up, and relaxed.  I hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks.  While we were drinkin' our venti vanilla frapachinos, a young girl came up to us mid-conversation and mentioned...

"Hi, is your name Michael?" she asked.

"Yeah, hi.  Do we know each other?" I responded.

"Actually no, we don't. But I recognized your face. I just wanted to come up and say 'hello'.  I just joined the Classmates section on your website.  I love your site. I have actually been reading it forever, though I just, finally, joined the list." she mentioned.

"Wow, thanks.  It's nice to meet you." I added.

"Oh yeah, you too.  I read a while back when someone wrote in the Guest Book I think about they seeing you somewhere but not knowing you, so they didn't say anything.  Well, I recognized you so I just thought I would come say 'hello' and introduce myself."

"That's cool.  I'm glad you did."

"Anyway, I didn't mean to intrude on y'alls conversation or anything.  Just wanted to introduce myself and tell you that I like your site a lot.  It was good meeting you and y'all have a good day!"

"Okay, you too.  Bye!"

...That was the whole conversation.  She was really nice.  It was cool of her to come up like that and introduce herself.  As she was walking away, my friend looked at me and said, "You know what?  You know what you and the website remind me of?"  I looked at her with a curious face.  She then said, "That whole thing with that girl ... you and the site remind me of Sex And The City!"  I was like, "Huh?".  She explained with, "No seriously!  I mean I go to your site many times a day to read the latest  and to see any changes.  I know a lot of other people, including all my friends, that do the same.  And that girl right there, a girl that you didn't even know, said that she reads your site all the time and so she wanted to come up and say 'hello'.  It's like you write an online column that people go to read.  And you know how I have asked you before 'when and where do you find the time to write'?  Now I have this visual of Carrie Bradshaw living her daily life, and then while being in bed in her underwear, writing about it on her laptop the next day for her next column!  This TOTALLY reminds me of Sex And The City!"

I didn't really know what to say to that comparison.  After all, I was being compared to a fictional chick!  But she continued to explain, and I guess I kinda saw the similarity.  For the record, yes I did watch Sex And The City (and no, I am not gay)!  It was actually a pretty cool show and somewhat of an insight to what women sometimes think.  The whole thing made me laugh.  But it did beg a few questions.  So, channeling my inner Carrie, does this site actually remind people of Sex And The City?  Am I a Carrie Bradshaw ... but with a penis?  -- Michael

(FYI, right now I am writing this post in bed, on my laptop, wearing only boxers, drink next to me (sans cigarette though because I don't smoke), with a curious look on my face because I am thinking of the last sentence of the previous paragraph ... a question.  Hmm ... Carrie-like?)

01/11/05 (05:20 PM) -- Sick  [Music: "I'm Shakin'" by Rooney  I  Mood: VERY tired]

It is only Tuesday and the week already seems so long.  I hate it when that happens.  Sadly, that seems to happen more often than not.  Anyway, I don't have much to write about right now, nor do I have much time to do so.  I gotta head out in a sec and go meet some people for a bit.  That should be okay, though I honestly don't feel like it.  Meetings can be draining when you are slightly under the weather, which is what I feel like right now.  I've been feelin' a little sick these past few days.  I think I might just be a little tired from lack of sleep recently, who knows though.  So yeah, this post is pretty meaningless, so I'll end it here.  Talk to y'all tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/10/05 (12:00 AM) -- Nothing  [Music: "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses  I  Mood: Relaxed]

About to read ... will write tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/09/05 (01:00 PM) -- Sunday Mornin'!  [Music: "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5  I  Mood: Tired]

Happy Birthday Adrian Luna!

Tired from last night ... will write later.  -- Michael

01/08/05 (02:00 PM) -- Makin' My Rounds...  [Music: "The Fireman" by George Strait  I  Mood: Rushed]

Happy Birthday Carrie Frazier!

Hey y'all.  How's everyone doin'?  This weather sucks today.  It's not the way I like for my Saturdays to look damn it!  Where's the dang sun?  Today has totally blown also.  I am so tired for some reason.  I actually got a decent amount of sleep too!  My battery is like gone also, so incommunicato for me today.  I just squeezed enough juice to call Carrie and wish her a happy birthday though.  Glad I got that it before it went totally kaput (which it is right now).  Oh well.  I did get caught up again with my e-mails, so that was good.  If for some reason I have missed someone, e-mail me back because I think I answered them all.

Okay, gotta get back to this stuff so I can make it out to meet everyone tonight.  There is a little shin dig goin' on this evenin'.  I sure as hell hope Mopac isn't going to be packed.  I hate it when there is traffic.  I am rambling.  That pretty much means that I have nothing else to day.  So on that note, HB again to Carrie, and I'll talk to y'all again tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/07/05 (11:00 PM) -- Ummm...  [Music: "Megalomaniac" by Incubus  I  Mood: Tired]

I hate reading!  -- Michael

01/06/05 (04:30 PM)  -- The Big One!  [Music: "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5  I  Mood: Relaxed]

Happy Birthday Tarah (Rogers) Durban!

Okay, so here it is ... the big one!  I have finally set aside the rest of the afternoon, to get caught up with this post, e-mails, and the rest of the website crap.  It's long overdue, and honestly I can't afford the time ... however since that is always the case, I just decided to drop what I was doing and get down to business.  That being said, this will probably be long, though it should be worth it.  So here it is ... Michael, no holds barred, puttin' it all out there, dirty laundry and all.  It's about damn time I did this.....

Photo Album:  It is still down.  I have explained this so many times already that I care not to do it again.  People STILL keep coming up to me and asking about it.  Obviously that means that you don't read the site enough otherwise you would already know.  So go back into the archives if you really want to know what happened to it.  I'm done explainin' over and over again.  As for an update though, I am workin' on it with the minimal free time that I have.  I hope it will be completely done soon.  Who knows though ... this shit is hard and very time consuming.  If anyone has any pictures to contribute, all are welcomed.  Send them my way.

Classmates:  It continues to grow.  It's great to see the new names that get added.  The word of mouth is also good.  Other sites are out there ... good for them.  But this one is home-grown.  I like it that way.  If anyone needs to change their info, please do so.  A reminder of that much will be sent out accordingly.

Carroll 1996 Reunion:  A committee has been formalized and the beginning stages are underway.  If anyone wants to be involved, just get in touch.  In the meantime though, those wonderful people whom have already pledged their help are greatly appreciated and will continue to keep up the great work.  This is going to be a lot of work, but I (and I think I speak for everyone on the committee) am excited about the challenge of making the best, most well attended reunion yet.  This sentiment has been expressed many times over and not just by us, but by teachers, parents, faculty and staff alike:  The Class of 1996 was something special.  And if I may, I think that Carroll shirt from the early 90s said it best ... "We're Not Snobs, We're Just Better!".  J

White Christmas in The C.C.:  I never thought I would see the day.  I have been in snow many many times.  I have been skiing tons, even been in a few hard blizzard conditions before, but seein' The C.C. covered white takes the cake.  It totally didn't feel like Corpus.  Those who were in town for it I'm sure know what I mean.  The craziest part of it all, was when I walked outside at like 3:30 AM or so, and I shit you not, there was this man in a track suit running down the middle of the snow-covered street.  Strapped to his back was a sled (an actual sled not a trashcan top or something) with his young little son sleddin' away while his daddy pulled.  In his hands were the leashes of two Alaskan Huskies, haulin' ass leadin' the way.  I mean I was floored? Is this Corpus?  A real sled?  Alaskan Huskies?  Freakin' snow?!?!  I felt like I was in the twilight zone!

At first, in all honesty I was kinda a snob about it.  I didn't get why everyone was freakin' out about it, I mean it was JUST snow!  It took a few hours for it to set in though.  On Christmas Eve night, I saw people playin' in it and stuff.  But it was the next day when I actually saw a few people literally crying because they had never seen snow before.  That Christmas mornin' it seemed like the WHOLE town was out enjoyin' the day.  Never in my life have I ever seen that before.  That's when it hit me.  Some of these people obviously had never seen it ... but some probably would have never seen it.  It's one thing for a teenager or twenty-something someone to have not seen snow before.  But when I saw elderly people out in it, crying because they never thought they would ever see snow period, let alone in The C.C., I started to understand it more.  To them, this was a blessing, a miracle of sorts.  Then I started to open my eyes more and see how the snow affected the town.  It seemed like everyone was out enjoying the weather.  People were out taking walks in the neighborhoods.  Neighbors were outside talking to each other.  The parks were filled with families playin'.  For those two days, it seemed like people weren't worrying about their problems, whatever they might have been.  There were no gangs, no crime, no anything.  The town was a Norman Rockwell painting.  The Christmas spirit was everywhere.  It was truly amazing and something I'll never forget.

Ricky Williams:  I am so tired of hearing people tear down Ricky.  People need to fuckin' get a life and leave him the hell alone.  Those who sit there and bitch about him because he supposedly "let his team down" and shit ... give me a break!  Sports, especially football, at the professional level is nothing more than a business ... period!  Ricky has the right to live his life however he sees fit.  No one has the right to pass judgment on him.  So he smokes weed ... so what?  That's his business, not mine or anyone else's.  Please y'all.  I bet over half of the people readin' this right now have at least tried weed once in their life.  Even so, he is breakin' the law?  He is bein' immoral?  If anyone believes that then they are dumber than I thought.  Show of hands ... how many people out there have driven' drunk, all the while knowing that it is dangerous.  Oh wait, it's different for you though because you know your limit, right?  I guarantee there are people in jail right now that have said the same thing.  How many people have cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend?  Further, now many have actually cheated on a spouse, or done something with someone else's spouse?  Anyone ever tried something more?  ecstasy?  acid?  mushrooms?  I think y'all get my point.

Everyone has skeletons ... EVERYONE!  No one has the right to jump on Ricky for anything.  I have gained more respect for him for leavin' the Dolphins.  He decided that he wasn't happy, so he did something about it.  How many people out there have their job and wish they could leave it?  How many people stay with a gf/bf or spouse merely because they are afraid of being alone?  Ricky wasn't happy and did something about it.  It's his life, and he should be able to live it.  In this day and age where money rules all, it is refreshing to see someone not give a shit about it.  Money isn't everything y'all.  The cliche hold true ... more money more problems.  More power to you Ricky!

Rose Bowl:  What can I say about this?  The game was amazing!  I was so pumped the days leadin' up.  When Dusty's kick sailed through the uprights, after gettin' partially blocked, I was SO ecstatic.  The game was awesome!  There just isn't any other way to say it.  Sorry Chad, but TEXAS, not Michigan, is the 2005 Rose Bowl Champ!  The burnt orange was out in full force.  Next year can't get here soon enough.

Orange Bowl:  This is why I hate OU.  Obviously they are our biggest rival (sorry A&M peeps, but it's true).  So of course I can't stand them.  But in situations such as the other night, I gotta look at the bigger picture and sometimes that means rootin' for OU.  Last year, OU just had to beat K-State, a team we had already beat, and we would be in the BCS.  As much as it pained me, I was going for OU so we could go to the Fiesta Bowl.  Sure enough, they freakin' lost and we went to the damn Holiday Bowl, and lost!  This year, it was the lesser of two evils.  I absolutely can't stand the Pac-10 and the west coast teams.  The whole thing with Cal pissed me off.  I was so glad to see them get their asses handed to them by Tech after they were whinin' that they were better than us.  And I wanted USC to get blasted by OU to show that the Big 12 was better.  It's not like I wanted OU to get another championship, but I just couldn't live with freakin' USC winnin' it and bringing street cred, all be it slight, to the Pac-10.  Sure enough, I root for OU again, and they get killed!  Man, I hate OU!

2004:  The year was one of transition and self-discovery for me.  A lot happened in 2003, especially at the end and all at once.  This past year definitely changed me a bit.  I'm not yet quite sure how I completely feel about it though.  On one hand, I was glad for the clarity and discovery I achieved.  Yet on the other, some of the things I realized weren't the best.  One of the biggest themes of the year for me was my relationships with people and how I handle myself.  I learned a lot about myself and my friends, some good and some bad (I'll get to Friends in a second).  Specifically, I seemed to learn a lot about myself while traveling.  I'm able to think better and be more focused.  By nature I am a very social person.  I'm always out there, havin' fun and bein' involved.  This year though, I definitely regressed a bit.  My personal solitude, at times, became priority.  And honestly, that's when I learned the most.  I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is to walk through life, blindly, not really attempting to better themselves internally.  I tried to do that this year, and I think it definitely bettered me as a person.  Things that used to get at me so much, just don't seem to matter anymore.  I have started to focus more on the things that are important, rather than waste time on the things that are not.  By no means am I done learning.  It will continue to be an ongoing process.  The challenge will be to always keep priorities straight, while working to make myself the best person I can possibly be.

Friends:  This is an interesting and touchy topic.  To find a friend, an actual true friend who would actually DO anything for you and not just say so; it's very rare these days.  This past year taught me a lot about people in general, friends specifically.  I found myself unhappy a number of times this year, and a lot of those situations were a result of friends.  There are a few "friends" that I have, that I have known all along they aren't real friends.  They just think of themselves.  They are cool when they need something.  They are cool when it is convenient for them.  They want you to be there for them, yet they never return the gesture.  In the past, I have just let situations go, time and time again.  I just wrote it off as "well, that's just how so-and-so is".  I finally just got fed up with it though.  I got tired of having to justify other people's actions in my head for them.  I finally asked myself, "Do I really want people like this in my life?".

It really was gettin' ridiculous.  One person completely lives their life as an act.  They care only about how they are perceived by other people.  The show is more important than the substance.  All their actions are based on how convenient things are for them.  This person is the type that completely uses you for everything possible.  And of course when they need a friend to be there for them, they want that.  Yet do they ever do anything for you?  Are they there for you when you need a friend?  Are they ever not thinking about themselves?  It got old very quick.

There were others that you just basically can't trust a word they say.  You never know if or when they are telling the truth.  You never know what they are saying about you behind their back.  You tell them something in confidence and then next day you freakin' hear it from someone else.  And of course they don't respect your friendships with other people.  If someone else told you something in confidence, you keep it to yourself because you want to be a good friend.  But then that person starts to grill you to tell them what the other said because they want to know.  They can't comprehend the fact that you are loyal to the other person, just the same way they would want you to be loyal to them.  Again, this person only thinks of his/herself.

Then there are the desperate ones out there, groupies if you will.  This type of person probably pisses me off the most because they display so much hypocrisy that you would think they should go into politics.  This is the person that can't keep any friends because they are always doing whatever they can to one-up someone else in order to get her/himself more status.  This is the person that will claim to be the most mature, yet clearly has never grown up.  They care SO MUCH about what other people think that they go so far as to completely fabricate things just to give off a certain impression.  They do their best to find a soapbox and preach to whoever will listen, all the while never taking their own advice.  One time this person complained to no end about other people stealin' her/his friends, yet it isn't but a few weeks later when she/he is doing the EXACT same thing to someone else.  This person finds out something someone might have said, and gets furious about it ... completely forgetting the fact that she/he her/himself has totally done the EXACT same thing many times over, and to this day continues to do so!  Complete and total hypocrisy!  They lack so much self-esteem that they will do just about anything just to get accepted by people ... and of course deny everything later.  And the funniest thing yet about this person, is that they complain all the time as to why they can't keep friends and why nobody likes them!  They are the first to point out flaws in others, yet never look into the mirror to fix her/himself.  It is utterly disgusting.

That same person is the type that you never see coming.  I mean, people you hate, you know they are assholes for one reason or another.  So when they display such behavior, you aren't surprised.  But the person just described, they are the real bad ones.  They do their dirty work in such a sly way that you REALLY gotta look hard to find it.  And of course you never expect it from them because they always try to come across as the nicest person in the world.  But the idea remains the same, their whole life is a front.  They pretend to be open and honest, and they act like they are sincere, yet they are merely continuing to spin their web.  It's especially funny when you finally realize how fake they are and they don't know it yet.  Because every time on, you can totally see right through them.  People like that make me wanna puke.

Like I said before, I had already known these things about some people, but I just kept dismissing it and letting their behavior go.  It finally got to the point where I got fed up with it all though.  Being around people like that was beginning to make me crazy.  I realized that friends as such just weren't worth my time.  I then started to make a conscious effort to surround myself with true friends, people that I knew I could count on.  I identified who I felt were my real best friends, and started to put forth more effort into maintaining relationships with them.  No matter what, good times or bad, I know they will always be there.  Needless to say, I am MUCH happier now, in terms of who I spend my time with and communicate with.

2005:  I really don't believe in resolutions.  I feel that if I want to do something, I shouldn't wait 'til the start of the next week/month/year to get started.  I should just do it.  The only thing I wish for 2005 is to continue the practices that I started in the latter part of 2004.  I want to continue to surround myself with good people.  I want to just be myself, and others can take it or leave it.  I hope that when people describe me, they say "Mike is a person that doesn't give a shit what other people think about him.  He is himself and doesn't apologize for it.  He's confident and doesn't need other people's approval to feel good about himself.  Love him or hate him, he is as genuine as it gets.".  I know I haven't always been that way in the past.  I'll be the first to admit that I am far from perfect.  But that is what I am working towards ... not perfection ... but rather just being real.  

.....That sure as hell was long.  It looks like I covered most everything though.  Hmm...that wasn't so bad!  I thought that was going to come out a lot worse!  Haha, sometimes my frustrations can get the best of me.  Oh well, I'll try to keep the site updated to where I don't need to write a novel to get caught up.  I still have an ass load of e-mails to respond to ... so I guess I'll get started on those.  Talk to y'all biatches later.  -- Michael

01/05/05 (11:50 PM) -- Yet Again...  [Music: "Three Days" by Pat Green"  I  Mood: Tired]

I know, yet again I have failed to write.  I just can't seem to find the time that I want to devote to the site.  Again, hopefully tomorrow I will be able to...  -- Michael

01/04/04 (03:15 PM) -- Mountains of e-mail!  [Music: "Back When" by Tim McGraw  I  Mood: Overwhelmed]

Okay, y'all.  I have finally been about to sit down in front of the computer and like totally focus on this stuff for some time.  I have an ass load of e-mail to respond to.  My gosh, thanks to all the peeps who write in.  Sorry it has taken me a while to write back.  But I am back now, and ready to get started.  So I am literally responding to people as I also typing this.  Hopefully, I'll be able to tackle all this mail today.  Then I'll need to update the site tonight.  And I am going to FINALLY write the long awaited big post tonight!  So I'm sure it will be up tomorrow for y'all to read, if not tonight.  And yes, I am going to refocus on getting the photo album back up.  It is taking FOR-E-VER, but I will rededicate myself to doing so.  Again, if anyone has ANY pictures to provide, please please send them along.

I am going to get back to the e-mailing, so I'll talk to y'all soon.  -- Michael 

01/03/04 (11:50 PM) -- I Feel The Need, The Need For Speed!  [Music: "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins  I  Mood: Tired]

Tired, zapped, wiped ... y'all know the drill.  At least Top Gun is playin' in the backgroud, lol!  Hopefully will write tomorrow.  -- Michael

01/02/05 (02:05 PM) -- Rose Bowl Champs!  [Music: "Texas Fight" by Longhorn Band  I  Mood: Proud]

I don't have time to write right now.  I will tomorrow though.  I am going to try and get caught up then.  In the meantime, I thought I would say a quick "hello" and "Happy New Year" to all the readers.  Talk to y'all tomorrow.  Airports sucks. Texas Longhorns 2005 Rose Bowl Champions!  -- Michael

01/01/05 (12:00 AM) -- Happy New Year!  [Music: "1999" by Prince  I  Mood: Festive]

New Year's Day!

#6 (#4 BCS) Texas Longhorns vs. #13 Michigan Wolverines in the Rose Bowl at Pasadena, CA @ 3:30 CST on ABC!